Insulting Comments

Everyone gets them.

There  will always a time when you can take something that someone says or does as an insult.  But is it really?  Let’s be honest – there is usually at least two sides to every issue.  Not everyone commenting on your page or article has taken the time to know what was “behind” the story that was actually printed.  Not everyone will agree with everything you say or do, and not everyone will agree with how you express it.  Everyone has different reading comprehension skills,  and certainly no one might ever understand your thoughts and the meaning behind your words.

And while I agree, they should have their say, I also believe negative comments, unless sufficiently substantiated do no one any good, not the author, the commenter or the other readers. 

For example, we could each go to the Grand Canyon.  You might be thrilled with the breath taking beauty, but I might be scared I am going to fall any minute.  It’s not that the Grand Canyon is exclusively either of these things — beautiful or scary — because it certainly can be both of those and more, it’s perception.  I could write about how scary it was, and you could comment I am a liar, but really am I?  Your perception of the grand canyon doesn’t match with mine, but it doesn’t make me a liar — or any other name calling you might want to add to that in your comment because you disagree.

As a reader, or as a writer how can you truly know what the motive is in a comment we might receive?  I think the words chosen to express themselves show more about them, than they might about your article.  Based on what they say and how they say it, you can usually tell that they do not have all the facts.

However, if you aim to hurt, insult or belittle someone, you can do that fairly easily by making a comment that has no basis in fact.  Since you didn’t walk in the writers shoes through whatever experience occurred (job loss, child custody, accident, divorce, miscarriage) you can’t know what it was like for them.  To contradict them, say they are a liar, or tell them to “get over it” shows your ignorance of the situation.  You didn’t have anything to do with their experience. The experience being written about is uniquely theirs.

I’d like to think that for these types of people — they just don’t have the right way to deliver the message they wish to convey, and it comes across as crass, rude, or insulting.  Most times they have limited information about a subject and so while they think they “know it all” – they really don’t know the half of it.

One thing I do know is that when you take the time to look at the statement they wrote, you can usually determine if it was meant to be insulting, or meant for another reason. You may even need to ask a question of the person that gave it to determine their actual motive.  So unless you take the time to do that or simply ignore all the negative comments, you might think you are being insulted much more than you really are.

And such is the world of a cyber writer.

Lots of people write articles simply to be controversial and therefore get lots of comments, based on each side of the issue being explored.  There are hot topics and there are just innocent stories.  Let’s face it, we are all human.  We don’t want anyone to be critical of what we do, say or believe.  When someone says something to our face or comments on our writing, they just might not be able to express themselves efficiently enough to get their real point across.

Worse there are the people who take what you write – the wrong way, and then attack you for saying it. Remember no one is paying me to write this article, I have received no compensation, and it is 100% my thoughts and feelings expressed here. You are free to disagree.